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Are you sometimes forced to be extravagant?

Sunday, July 13, 2014

If I am out with family and close friends, I can be quite generous and would often buy everyone a meal but with others, I am not so generous, naturally.

Have you ever had the experience of going out in a group for a meal and instead of everyone paying for what he or she ordered, the bill was split evenly and shared amongst all the diners? 

I have never liked that because the food I eat is typically quite cheap and I don't eat a lot especially if I feel that the restaurant is expensive. 

So, I would usually end up subsidising the other diners in these situations, so to speak.

A recent conversation I had with a friend on FB:

Two questions:

1. How to tactfully tell them that I don't like the arrangement?
See related post #1 below.

2. How to help these people become financially more prudent?
See related post #2 below.

Any other ideas?

I ended up saying:

Related posts:
1. Think you cannot reduce your spending?
2. Don't see money, won't spend money.


seefei said...

depend on the amount... sometimes it is more important to be inclusive and supportive than being right alone.

if it is worthwhile to spend time to have a meal with this group of friends, what is the extra few bucks? the most valuable is time and not $$.

Solace said...

Hi AK,

For such situation, I normally seize the initiative to pay 1st. Then i will snap a photo of the receipt and calculate for them how much each individual has to pay me back.

I get credit points in return and help to make it fair for individual to pay for what they order haha.

I would also choose my lunch buddies carefully. I will go with those who share the same taste in hawkers or coffee shops. I also joined another grp who bring their food to dine in office pantry.

Going out to cafe and restaurant for lunch hr? it's usually a no no for me......... Unless gonna force to go...

AK71 said...

Hi seefei,

Yes, you have a point, of course. :)

Whether it is worthwhile would depend on the people we spend time with, whether they share the same values and whether they will help to make us better people.

I am willing to hazard a guess that if I disagree with the way they split the bill, chances are that we don't share the same values. -.-"

Well, if we enjoy their company, we should just write it off as an entertainment expense. ;p

AK71 said...

Hi Solace,

Exactly, unless forced to go. :(

I agree that we should choose our mealtime buddies carefully. I am all for bringing our own food and having lunch in the office pantry! LOL. Yah, I know, what's new, right? ;p

Ivanp said...

Hi AK,

My solution is to go vegetarian and it works as my friends will be very paiseh seeing I cannot eat anything so i get the pay what i ordered; otherwise, they suggest I join them the next time when there is something nice for me. Ha ha:)


My 15HWW said...

Hi AK,

I have learnt to live with such an arrangement since most often, I dine out with family and close friends?

But my wife has the same issue as you and she would order something more extravagant than normal (but still lower or close to average) so that she wouldn't have to subsidise others.

Or volunteer to pay with credit card to get perks (cash back or points)?

AK71 said...

Hi Ivan,

It depends on whether the people we go out with would actually feel paiseh enough for your plan to work. LOL.

Of course, if it works for you, that is good enough. ;)

AK71 said...

Hi Keynes,

Like you, I hardly dine out in a group unless it is with family and close friends. In such instances, I often give them treats. I don't even split the bills. No issues. :)

This blog post is really a friend's experience at work now and he told me he has employed the same technique that your wife is using. Haha... However, it is really money that doesn't have to be spent. Hence, question #1. -.-"

E H said...

This speaks much about the person's EQ and his/her ability to people manage.

RKC Kan said...

I believe some eateries can issue separate bills on request.

AK71 said...

Reader says...
I need to figure a way to balance that with my own beliefs and have the guts or be firm enough to politely decline expensive outings. :/
Each outing with this group of friends is at least $50-$100 per pax :/

AK says...
$50 to $100 per person per outing is a big deal especially if it happens frequently.
If it happens once in a blue moon, I would probably close an eye, if I can afford it. ;)

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