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Partnering Mr. What and Miss. How.

Friday, February 21, 2014

I was inspired to write something to provide some light reading for the weekend after reading some stuff on Facebook this morning.

It is not just what you say but how you say it.

It is not just what you ask but how you ask it.

The "what" determines the content.

The "how" determines the response.

When we have something to say or to ask, think of the manner in which it could be delivered. Think of the "how".

Of course, the "how" is probably tied to our motivations.

Do we wish for a positive outcome or do we wish for a negative outcome?

If there is a mismatch between our motivations and the outcomes, then, there is something wrong with the "how".

So, how do we deal with this? What?

What we want to do is to be more mindful of the "how".

We should always pay more attention to the ladies.

Of course, I am just talking (and later reading) to myself as usual.

Related post:
To let go or to hold on to a position?


veronika said...

Yes, these are skills that many in Singapore are not very good at. Perhaps we have all been drilled to be very hard nosed workers... numbers, stats, very quantitative approach.

It does not help with a leadership that keeps quoting GDP numbers, COE numbers, Dengue numbers, immigrant numbers!!
Not to mention people using TA!!

The science of relationships, human interactions is a foggy one. But we all know it is there... just cannot put a number on it!!!

Yet it is difficult not to have numbers.. including:

"How much do I love thee?... let me COUNT the ways!!"

AK71 said...

Hi Veronika,

Always good to hear your view. Thanks for weighing in on the matter. :)

It is really sad how even simple civility is dead in certain quarters. In cyberspace, I have found that it could get even worse. -.-"

veronika said...

Cyberspace drawbacks is its inability to have visual, non-verbal cues.. Although we have emoticons, it just cannot replace our sense of 'feeling' that we get from a face to face.

That is perhaps, why at times, the dialogue can be read as 'unkind'.. it was not balanced with a visual cue.

Again, I dare say, many Singaporeans are not very articulate not even in speech but also in text!.. we live in such an abbreviated world where quality conversations are hard to come by... busy, busy, busy people.. no time lah... where got?.. how like dat?

See what I mean?

AK71 said...

Hi Veronika,

Actually, now that I have become more active in Facebook in the last few months, I am beginning to be infected by abbreviations! -.-"

Years ago, I wrote letters to my friends studying in Europe and the USA and these were delivered by AIR MAIL. :)

A friend who kept all my letters told me that they were very heart warming. He stacked all the letters he received from friends and family in the 4 years he was a student in the USA back then and mine was the tallest stack! ;p

Letter writing will probably join those disappearing trades around the world.

Anonymous said...

Look at the what to understand the content, understand the how to gauge the energy, remember the who for the whole picture. Remember the who that is speaking and forget the who that is listening.

Sorry for babbling...

Singapore Man of Leisure said...


You're the North Star of cyberspace.


Have a super weekend!

AK71 said...

Hi Mike,

And I have readers who told me my blog post is confusing... -.-"

Your comment is cheem but I understand! I think I have grown a bit more intelligent in the Year of the Horse. ;p

AK71 said...


Mike's comment is cheem. Yours is cheemer! This one I don't understand and I think I might not have grown more intelligent after all. -.-"

Anonymous said...


U are just too humble. North Star guide the lost, but pointing to the north all the time.

My Army officer shown it to once in the forest.

AK71 said...

Hi Mike,

Oh, I assure you I am not. I know what I know and I know what I don't know (which is plenty). Sometimes, I will make a joke or two about this but I am generally honest but not modest. Wah! They rhyme! :D

Singapore Man of Leisure said...

silly investor,

I understand your posts fine maybe because of our shared philosophical bias ;)

AK has big love - he is Northern School.

I am more about self-cultivation. (I know, selfish #@#*^%!)

Don't pander to AK. He is playing coy.

Girls I don't mind. But a grown man? I merlion on him!


AK71 said...


What big love, small love? On top of North Star, now have Northern School. -.-"

Aiyoh, I am so misunderstood sometimes but it's OK because I believe that you genuinely believe what you believe. Who is to say you are wrong? ;p

Anonymous said...


Why is self-cultivation selfish? Too many people like adding oil to fire Liao.

As for AK being coy, er ... I have my doubts that he can't get what is northern star, but I give him the benefit of doubts.

He big love type? I always thought he Ang mo pai, dun ask me
Why.. Just thought is like that.

AK71 said...

Hi Mike,

I really didn't understand the North Star reference. Seriously, I thought it was a Taoist reference as I remember there was a deity called North Star in some Chinese mythology drama I watched before. Honest. -.-"

Oh, I didn't thank you for enlightening me earlier. Thanks. :)

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