恨人有, 笑人无.

We are human, we are flawed and money issues sometimes bring out the worst in us!

I read this in a rather candid article:

I have a tendency to use money as a scorekeeper in life. If I’m doing well financially, I’m beating all of those schmucks who have less than I do. And all of the people who are doing better than me got there because they cheated, got lucky, or otherwise fell into wealth.

The problem is the worst when I notice other people’s money making me mad. Here (is an example) of the sorts of relationships and encounters that stick in my craw:

• I have an acquaintance who is aloof, socially awkward and somewhat dimwitted. He also tends towards greed and arrogance to boot. But somehow, despite all of these serious faults, he has a knack for making big money. Against all odds, he is succeeding in his field. If current trends continue, he will end up far wealthier than me. And it burns me up.

Source: Your money, my problem.

I have always said that there is no need to compare. Why do people like to keep score and measure how successful a person is? The only person I should compare against is myself.

The Chinese have a saying:

恨人有, 笑人无.

Translation:
To loathe people who have wealth and to laugh at people who don't.

This is a behaviour we should all avoid.

Related posts:
1. Money making.
2. To be a happy peasant.

AK responds to wedding advice given by an IFA. (Financially prepared to be married?)

I might be putting my head on the chopping board with this blog post but this is not something I have not said before: 

"If there is not enough money for a wedding, the two people do not have enough money to be married."

So, when I saw this topic being discussed in Facebook and, shortly after, read an article on how to prepare financially for marriage, the writing bug bit me.






The article written by an independent financial adviser (IFA) is titled "10 Tips on What to Prepare Financially for Your Upcoming Marriage".

The first line in the article: 

IFA:
"If you have finished school, worked for a few years and is attached, your most likely plan next in the agenda is to get married."

This is like someone who translated his emotional needs into action without sending his emotions through a mental filter first! 

A more prudent thing for the couple to do is to ensure that they are financially stable and have the financial capability to be married.

IFA:
"It is OK to rent (a flat) when you get married."

My response:
No, it is not. I don't think I need to say why. (Unless you do not qualify for a BTO flat, why can't you wait for a BTO flat? Why are you in such a rush to get your own place? OK, you don't need to answer that. Think Rule of 15.)

IFA:
"If you are going to borrow to pay that renovation, try to borrow from your own parents first (hopefully they can lend you interest free!)."

My response:
Forget the renovation. If you do not have the money to renovate your home (unless there is a safety issue), don't. You think parents are ATMs?

IFA:
"You may wish to postpone investments until you have fully satisfied that you have set aside sufficient budget for your marriage."

My response:
This is like putting the cart in front of the horse! Consumption before investment? OMG! Whatever happened to delaying gratification? OMG! This is like... er... OMG!

IFA:
"Finally, do spend some amount of money engaging a good professional wedding photographer. Years later, the only way your kids can know about your wedding is through photographs. Make sure you have both hard and softcopies of these photographs."

My response:
I am not curious about my parents' wedding and they do not see the need to tell me anything about it too. I wonder how many are curious about their parents' weddings or how many people would see it as important to educate their children about theirs?




If you ask me, true love does not need a marriage certificate. Of course, if you want to have kids, then, please get married. 

Marriage, in my opinion, is to give the children legitimacy. Unless the family is not part of mainstream society, children born out of wedlock will have many issues growing up.

Two people planning to get married and thinking of borrowing money for everything in the process should not be getting married. 

Obviously, at least to me, they are not financially prepared for it.

"Once you get into debt, it's hell to get out." Charlie Munger.

Related post:
Not enough money to be married.