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Leaving Singapore and worried about leaving mom alone.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Reader says...
I met my fiancee at work but he is not Singaporean and we will be leaving for his home country next year.

My worry is my mother and I have asked her to join us but she prefers staying in Singapore which I understand but I don't want her to be alone at home.

Home is a 3 room flat my late father bought 40 years ago.

I know it would be difficult but I asked my younger brother who is married and staying in a 4 room flat if mother could move in with him but he said his flat is too small as they have children and a maid as well.

He said he will visit mother weekly but I still worry because I see her daily now...

AK says...
Reading your email has given me such conflicting feelings.

I am happy for you and worried at the same time.

I worry a lot too and, so, I understand.

What to do?

OK, someone I respect said to me before:

"You must live your life and you should not stop pursuing your own happiness."

I am sure your mom feels the same way.

She will be sad to see you go but she will feel happy at the same time.

When you are far away, contact her daily or every other day to keep in touch and to make sure she is doing well.

Come back to Singapore to spend some time with her as often as it is possible to do so.

Your mom's situation is not so bad and I do know of worse situations. 

So, cheer up or you might make your husband to be feel bad. Yes, don't forget him.

Wishing you and your family good health and happiness. :)

Related post:
Retiree regrets selling flat to help son buy a condominium.


AK71 said...

Jean Chua says...
Tell her to do Facetime daily. Teach Mum ahead of leaving
Still must come back to visit of course. But Facetime will give Mum a sense of security and something to look forward to!!

gagmewithaspoon said...

Aiyoh so cute, AK71 - this isn't even finance related but you got fans that are writing to you about their problems =) you have upgraded yourself from financial-guru to uncle agony =)

To add on, visit often, FaceTime often, work hard on making this marriage a success so your mum has one less worry, It is always difficult to make marriages work, let alone one that has the added stresses of living abroad. Also, remember to give your mother a nice pocket money - not just to make her finances easier, but to know that you are able and willing to provide for her =)

Mrs Spoon

AK71 said...

Hi Mrs. Spoon,

I have been wearing the hat of "Uncle Agony" for many years now and I have a handful of blogs like this one.

I share some cases here in my blog to see what readers have to say and sometimes we get very helpful comments like yours. :)

AK71 said...

Terrence Yap says...

This is a time of transition for her and her mum. Definitely so hiccups during transition which is to be expected.

Several adaptations that can make it less stressful in addition to what she is already doing.

1) Get a domestic helper ( for house chores and companion)

2) Teach her to facetime on internet


3) Hopefully, she is in good relations with her neighbors.

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