My girlfriend is more than US$100K in debt!

Human beings are rarely solitary. 

Although in modern societies with very high cost of living like ours, fewer people are thinking of getting married unless they want children (but, in Singapore, people who don't want to have children will still get married just to get a BTO HDB flat).

Fewer who are married are staying married but many still need companionship in life.

Realistically, once we have a partner in life, for better or for worse, naturally, things will change. 





Our life is no longer ours alone. 

It is shared. 

This is only fair. 

We gain something. 

We lose something.

When it comes to money, however, I personally feel that couples, unless they are married, should keep their finances separate. 

To pool financial resources together is a BIG step, whether forward or backward will depend on the circumstances each person brings to the relationship.





Money, I think we all agree, is a very sensitive issue. 

It is probably more sensitive than religion. 

Don't agree? 

Would it be easier to ask your date whether she goes to church or what is her personal net worth? 

See?





If we care about financial security and if we are not rich which I assume most of us are not, no matter how strong our attraction, it is probably a good idea to stay away from someone who has growing financial debt. 

The question is how do we find out?

Some of you might remember my female friend, Posh. 

If you don't, see related post at the end of this blog.

I never did find out how much her net worth was and I didn't know if she was heavily in debt and, if so, whether it was growing in size. 

I only knew that if I wanted to be rich, I would have a better chance if I had a frugal partner. 

Posh and frugal didn't exist in the same space.





Now, say, I gave Posh the benefit of the doubt and thought that she had plenty of money and that, despite her lavish spending, she was only spending a small percentage of her income (hey, love is blind or so they say) but found out much later that she was actually in debt and that it was snowballing! 

Then, what?

By then, it could be too late. 

"I didn't notice the crows nesting in the attic of the house before. Love the house, love the crows." 

Of course, I derived this from the Chinese saying "爱屋及乌" but I always get the feeling that the saying is to console ourselves when we discover something bad comes attached to someone or something we love.





I might be putting my head on the chopping block here (and this won't be the first time) but if we are not rich and if we want to be rich, we are probably better off with a frugal partner in life.

If you are willing to get married to someone who has snowballing debt and to help pay off the debt, you are a better person than me. 

Good on you!






Related post:
A story about a lady in my life.