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I produced a YouTube video recently on how much money do seniors need in Singapore monthly to cover basic needs.
The video got many comments and some of them were pretty shocking when it comes to providing financial support for parents.
I am archiving some of these in my blog as a reminder to myself that not everybody thinks like me and how things might be very different now.
@deschua76 said,
30 years ago when I was still a kid, I told my parents that I won’t give them a single cent when they retired and because of that the fear drove them to become financially free now!
That should be the way! Do or die! No excuses!!!! my parents constantly thank me for what I did. For your information and dissemination please.. #ToughLove
And someone agreed with this comment.
@user-pi6mn9wj8n said,
This is what ALL children should tell their parents. Why shld children hv to pay parents who hv no responsibility to take care their own financial health.
The young hv it far harder than their parents did - with things like student debt and much higher housing costs.
It is PARENTS that should be helping children at this juncture. DONT sacrifice your own retirement and financial health because u hv deadbeat parents who want/need handouts.
To this, AK said,
"Like that, children become forever liabilities.😱 Better don't have children."
In case you are interested in that YouTube video and the comments it generated, here is the link:
How much money do seniors need in Singapore in 2023?
Gurmit Singh's song is in my head now.
"Things different already."
Bloggy Award
24 comments:
I can retire without allowance and hand-outs from our 4 children. That being said my 2 working children do give us 10% of their income, which I in turn top up into their CPF. #1 started working this year as a trainee teacher, she amassed $50K that include CPF. She gives tuition too. #3 is a nurse for 2 years, she is at $120k include CPF. I encouraged them to save and invest while I am gainly employed and can pay all the household bills. That way they can accelerate their savings. Each family has their own set of values to uphold
Hi Siew Mun,
You are a good parent and you have good children. :)
For sure, all of us have different circumstances.
Personally, my parents do not need financial support from me now, but I can foresee that they would need it in a few years from now.
I don't want them to worry about money which is why I am doing what I am doing for them now.
All along, I just assumed that all children would think like me.
So, when I got those comments in my YouTube channel, it was shocking.
Another reminder that AK is a frog in a well. (TmT)
Hi AK,
Aiyah younger Gen Z have different ideas of what is owed to parents lah. They have higher housing price & education costs to deal with.
I think u are a very filial son, and your desire to help your parents is very laudable.
As a Gen X/older millenial, I also preparing to pay for my dad's car, his old one COE expiring soon. We paid for my in law's car about 5 years ago.
https://pugsandpennies.substack.com
But I don't expect my kids to provide for me haha. Visit can already
Cheers
Mrs Pennies
Hi Mrs Pennies,
Thanks for reminding AK that he belongs to an older generation.
PM Lee already says AK is a "young senior". ;p
Paying for a car 5 years ago is so different from paying for a car now. -.-"
I have been trying to persuade my dad to give up having a car when the COE expires in another 2 years or so.
He would be almost 80 years old then and I don't think it is safe for him to continue driving too.
if you can think about not supporting ur parents 30 years ago when you were just a kid, i think ur parents would probably think "raise a pig better than..." *hokkien proverb
end of the day, it's not about what you can afford, but how grateful are you towards ur parents for bringing you up and helping you to survive in this harsh world (although i can't really say how harsh singapore is compared to the rest of the world) and how much you are willing to sacrifice your own wellbeing just for ur parents to have a respectable living in their twilight years
of coz there are situations where families are not as loving as others, but i like to think that's not the norm, and most child would have enjoyed a degree of love from their parents to a certain extent...now i'm starting to think my CPF love me more than some parents get from their kids!
Hi VT,
We always have to hope for the best and plan for the worst.
The comments I got from these two viewers of my YouTube video show how we cannot expect children to turn out to be grateful and filial.
Honestly, I was shocked.
Do u think 2nd hand cars from dealers like Carro are Safe for dads? My dad is pushing 80 also. I got v little experience in cars
I made a cheeky reference to AK in my blog post, hope that's OK with you lol. Sorry, Gen X sense of humour!
Hi X,
I did go with a friend to shop for a 2nd hand car many years ago.
It wasn't a pleasant experience.
I would buy a pre-owned car from someone I know I can trust, if possible.
From a friend is selling his car, for example.
You are a blogger too? If you are blogging as a hobby, please let me know.
I would love to read your blogs. :)
Hi AK
I like to read your blog too =)
https://pugsandpennies.substack.com
Just talking aloud on markets too
Hi X,
Ah, you are Mrs. Pennies.
I am so silly not to make the obvious connection. O_o
You signed off as Mrs. Pennies before but didn't for the later comments.
I thought I was talking to two different people.
Then, I checked Mrs. Pennies' comment and saw it had the same Google Account. LOL.
Now u know where to email me to complain lol
Nearly a THIRD of millennials and Gen Zers, over the age of 18,
get financial support from their parents,
according to a new survey by personal finance site Credit Karma.
Nearly a quarter also said
they provide their adult children
- with a regular ALLOWANCE,
- pay some
- or all of their rent
- or have them as an authorized USER on their CREDIT Card.
For parents, however, SUPPORTING GROWN Children can be a substantial drain at a time.
when their own financial security is at risk.
CNBC, 21 Dec 2022
Hi X,
ROFL. ;p
Hi Candy,
OMG! O_o
Good morning AK,
The changing "landscape" of retirement planning is as follows (as I observed it):
The Pioneer Generation
This is my parents' generation. People in this cohort tended to have large family. I have many siblings. Pioneers in general have lower educational levels, with many completing at most sec 4. Their wages were low and wives were mostly housewives. Pioneers' retirement plan was to depend on their many children.
The Merdeka Generation
My older siblings are of the Merdeka cohort. This cohort tended to have higher education with either diplomas or degrees. They also have smaller families with one to four children. They earned better wages too. Their retirement plan was to rely on their own savings supplemented with allowances from their children. They are not so investment savvy and will drawdown on their savings to fund their retirement.
The Majulah Generation - my cohort.
Many in this cohort have higher education and earned much higher wages. They either do not have children if married or have two children most. They are also more investment savvy and planned to live off their investment gains and passive income. This cohort aimed to be the last sandwich generation, whereby they will be self sufficient in their old age without burdening their few children.
It is not uncommon to hear of people in this cohort helping their children to buy homes.
Hi MSI,
I have Pioneer Generation parents but they don't have many children.
The government discouraged having many children and told couples to stop at 2 or pay a fine if they had more.
Anyway, retirement planning aside, I just find it shocking the attitude which the viewers whose comments I shared in this blog post have towards parents when it comes to money matters.
Not providing parental support might be acceptable if their parents are well-off but making more demands on their parents to pay for their lifestyle is simply shameless.
Hi AK,
My mum is eligible for silver support scheme and my bro family still gets S$30 for student care subsidy for my nephew (means he is below NTU MIS).
Hence, as Gen X, I'm still in the sandwich class but I'm fortunate to have a good career, save and invest wisely. I have decided to help my loved ones as money is only useful if spend wisely.
My yearly plan:
Mum allowance: $18,000 (have been supporting her financially since I graduated)
Nephew's education fund: $3,000 ($18,000 for 6 years)
Brother’s gift: $1,000
Nephew’s gift: $1,000
Charity: $600
Total: $23,600
I read a memoir " Breath becomes air", thought provoking on one's value and legacy as we confront mortality acutely. You are an inspiration to me. Keep talking to yourself.
Hi AT_AT,
You are an inspiration too!
We are both Gen X. :D
Although I always say that it is never my way or the highway, there are some ways which I find questionable or even distasteful.
Of course, all of us have to choose how to live our lives and ask if we able to live with it.
Not everybody has a conscience.
To @deschua76,
30 years ago when you were still a kid, your parents should have told you that when you reach 18 years old, they won’t give you a single cent for your furthur education, daily expenses, car/ house and wedding endowment. And because of that the fear will drive you to become financially free.
#ToughLove
Aye. Most of the parents of the pioneer group were typical workers who do not have much financial literacy.
I did 3 things for my folks. Firstly, I top up my mother's RA account, and the medisave account with cash to maintain the medishield scheme. She is a typical housewife who never work, so her CPF is very low. Second I taught them how they could leverage on their own existing HDB property, I purchased my own house and fetch them to live with me so that they could rent out theirs for rental income. And when their savings gets too eye sore, I dumped the excess into different Fixed Deposits that paid out in different months, make their money worked harder for them.
Now my folks is getting combined monthly income from rental, CPF and occasional fixed D. That helps ease the burden on my side as I can divert 100% of my own monthly income into my financial building.
Took me a long way to teach them thou. Hahahaha.
Hi DL,
I like your version of #ToughLove a lot more! :D
Hi TDT,
Yeap. My parents only completed Sec 4.
They were even impressed with friends who got HSC or our equivalent of "A" levels.
Not financially savvy at all.
Had to depend on luck to see if children would be filial enough to provide some financial support in their old age, I suppose.
young adults expect their parents to be perfect but they are not even perfect themselves. They don't want to give their parents monetary support, their favourite line is "I didn't ask to be born", i.e. since the parents wanted to give birth to them, then their parents should afford them everything in life. and also be the perfect parent. very scary.
Also, modern parenting not helping. after all, culture also influences people. With more parents so afraid that their kids will not have enough for their future, and these "helpful parents" start refusing allowances, topping up their kids CPF so their kids can be 1M21 or gifting them a house. mind you - these are middle income not some rich elites. then it creates an expectation among these young people that this is what parents are supposed to do. not about giving them love and values, but providing for them from cradle to grave.
Hi gagmewithaspoon,
Is that really their favorite line? :o
"I didn't ask to be born!"
OMG! I cannot imagine saying that to my parents ever. O_o
I agree that young parents are more likely to coddle their children.
Don't need grandparents to do it.
Not doing their a kids a favor, I feel. -.-"
Reminds me of a blog post on how children can get passive income. LOL.
Reference:
Have a genie and children can have passive income.
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